Why we should all hate Thomas Edison.

Thomas Edison. He is often described as one of the "world's most prolific inventors" with a record-breaking 1,093 patents to his name. As it turns out, Thomas Edison was an asshole. Plain and simple. 

If I were to rob 1,093 banks, nobody would call me an entrepreneur. You would call me a thief, maybe a good thief, but a thief non the less. Well, as it turns out, Edison lines up there just behind Neil McCauley and Robin Hood as the biggest rip off artist of all times. How? Turns out he was really good at pattens. 

Not pictured: actual research or work.

Heinrich Goebel was the first person to have actually invented the light bulb, way back in 1854 ( as apposed to Edison's attempts in 1878). He tried pawning it off to Edison, who saw no practical use in Goebel's invention and, we shall assume, politely refused. When Goebel died *spoiler alert*, Edison bought Goebel's patent off of Goebel's impoverished widow at a cost much lower than what it was worth. 

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Sound shitty? The history lesson does not end there. May I introduce Mr. Joseph Wilson Swan, Edison's partner on the whole light bulb excursion. So why was Thomas Edison so god damn famous? He was a business man. When Swan developed a working light bulb, Edison effectively made him a partner in the  Edison United Company. As previously stated, Edison was a business man. He made Swan a partner in his endeavorers, eventually using his power to buy out Swan and his pattens, keeping all the cash for himself .

The biggest loser in the Edison Game? Nikola Tesla. Tesla was the genius behind alternating current (or AC). Edison had invested millions of dollars in direct current (or DC) and was not to be out done by some silly chap with a mustache. So whats a lazy "inventor" to do? Well, if your Thomas Edison, you run a smear campaign against your rival, complete with superior funding from several other stolen pattens. 

It is speculated that the "war of currents" actually set human progression behind because of some petty feud between Edison and just about everyone else who invented anything Edison himself thought was either below his standards or a common case of "fuck that asshole, I should have thought of it first" syndrome.

It is also rumored that Nikola Tesla would have received the Nobel Prize for his efforts, if not for Edison and his cronies ruining his good name with their stolen money and ripped off pattens. 

So the" father of the light bulb" is a thieving, bureaucratic, son of a bitch. Should this come as a surprise? I mean, companies steal and buy out each others technology every day. Even Bill Gates has admitted to not creating the software behind Windows. But for history books to LIE to us by proclaiming Thomas Edison as a great inventor is about as accurate as a blind man with an Uzi. Why not describe Edison as the worlds biggest thief? I mean, that shit deserves some type of mention, right? 

The fact of the matter is, history is written by the winners. No matter what you do or what you accomplish, there will ALWAYS be some dick with better access to funds or people than you. So what do we take away from something like this? Keep your friends close and your pattens closer.

I'm looking in your direction, Mr. Einstein.

How are you still employed?

With Saturday's Tech vs. S. Miss. ending in rain, I was curious to why I was surprised by the sudden down pour. I get my forecast from www.weather.com. Today, I was informed of a 30% chance of rain around 11pm. Clear skies other wise. We all know how that story ended.

This is not the first time our forecast source has gotten it wrong; I grew up in New Orleans, and therefore I know who Nash Roberts is. For those of you who do not, Nash Roberts was born to Louisiana in 1918. He retired from broadcast in 1984, only being brought in to do special commentary on storms after that. So by the time I was 8, he was 72 and still being brought out to draw on a dry erase board to tell us we were boned.

Striking fear into children since 1948.

It's not that Nash was wrong, as a matter of fact, he was the ONLY local reporter to accurately predict the path of Hurricane Betsy. But for every Nash Roberts, there is a Jennifer Gray. 

Jennifer Gray is the ripping-hot weather girl for KTBS ArkLaTex news. While absolutely one of the hottest meteorologist around, she is about as accurate as a blind man with a machine gun. 

Go ahead and lie to me, it wouldn't be the first time.

It seems to me that every time we are told 50% or less chance of rain, we should double it. How is it that someone can come on TV, give you information concerning how to plan your day, and then get it totally WRONG? Did you not go to school for this shit? 

I only hope that one day, I can have a job I continually fuck up at, and still collect a pay check. All I want is an apology. It's only decent to come on air and acknowledge the fact that I got wet because YOU told me it was safe. That, unfortunately, will never happen. 

Cheer up though, because for every crappy prediction we get from our weather source, there will always be a hot weather girl talking out of her ass.

I wasn't really listening anyway.

The House of Mouse

I wake up everyday at 6 am during the week. Why? My poor son's bus passes at 630 even though school doesn't start until 740. He's not the first one on the bus, nor is he the last one. So yeah, 6 am every day.

This particular morning, I woke up in a fog as usual. I stumbled to the bathroom to urinate. As I'm peeing, a mouse jumps..no... launches out of the garbage can and bolts straight out of the bathroom, taking a sharp turn down the hall and disappears into the dark house (remember, 6 am. The sun hasn't risen yet).

So now comes the tedious task of hunting down the little bugger. While I'm hoping for this mouse

If only...

I'm probably going to end up with this mouse:

Don't let those eyes fool you, he's a trained killer.

Of course I do have a dog. A mutt with terrier in him, but he doesn't use those natural vermin killing abilities and instead just sleep in my bed and chews my socks.


So lets hope that my endeavors are successful and in no way end up like this:

Not again!

Today's Tangent: West Louisiana Ave.

Let me tell you a story. A story about a little known street called West Louisiana Ave (WLA).

Once upon a time, WLA was the best kept secret on Louisiana Tech Campus. Students could park with ease, walking straight to Keeney Hall without a care in the world.

Unlike other streets, WLA had a one-way traffic flow. This meant that traffic flowed at a regular rate with little inconsistency.

And then, the dark times came. Upon getting to campus that day, WLA was blocked off. All of the secret parking spots had been taken away. As if to add insult to injury, WLA was no longer a one way for its direction had been changed to a two-way.


My heart sank to a depth so deep that I fear it may never surface again. So I raise my glass to you, WLA. You were a true friend who provided close parking, shaded walks, and never asked for anything back. You may be gone, West Louisiana Ave., but you are not forgotten.